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From our family · Halloween

When Halloween is exciting... and a little too much

Why a child can be genuinely excited about Halloween and still find all the noise, waiting, costumes and change overwhelming.

A child looking towards other trick-or-treaters on a residential street

Both things can be true

A child can desperately want to take part and still find the reality of it difficult. Our child can be excited about dressing up and going out, while the evening itself asks a lot from him. That does not mean the excitement was not genuine.

It is rarely just one thing

There are costumes, sweets, darkness, decorations, doorbells, other children, strangers, waiting and the excitement of not knowing what will happen at the next house. Together they can create a very full evening.

Try not to spend all the calm before you leave

If we can, we keep the time before leaving fairly ordinary rather than filling the afternoon with Halloween activity after Halloween activity.

Keep the plan loose

Knowing where we are going can make things predictable; knowing we are allowed to change the plan keeps it flexible.

Notice the quieter signals

“I want to go home” is obvious. Earlier signs can be rushing ahead, getting irritated while waiting, becoming much louder or suddenly objecting to something that was fine ten minutes earlier.

The child who couldn’t wait for Halloween can also be the child who needs to leave early. Both things can be true.

The bit after Halloween matters too

Once home, comfortable clothes, a drink, a familiar programme or story and some quiet time can make the transition back to normality gentler. There is no prize for squeezing every possible bit of Halloween into one night.

This is our family’s experience rather than medical advice, and every child is different. We share what has helped us in the hope that it gives other families a few useful ideas.

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